French Cultural Imperialism:

Why it was just as unsuccessful as real French Imperialism.

Well, this didn't turn out to be as interesting and entertaining as I had hoped, just enjoy the picture. Maybe I'll come back to it again another day.

French cultural imperialism is a failure. How do I know this? Jerry Springer, and a French spin off "Ca va se savoir" are shown at primetime (8pm or so) television. MacDonald's France is the most profitable chain in the world. America has won yet again.

Real French imperialism, much like its cultural counterpart, was a complete failure. One needs only look at success stories like the Ivory Coast (African shit-hole), Indochina (they let the Commies win!) and Tahiti (nice for surfing, if you survive the frequent coup attempts) to find out just how successful it really is. But the most surprising aspect of it is that the French continue to cling on to their imperial ambitions long after most others have given up. Take, for example, New Caledonia or French Guinea. These largely unprofitable, disease ridden tropical cesspits serve only as holiday resorts for over-indulgent French bureaucrats.

On another note, I've recently realised why America and France are often so opposed to one another. Much like my mother and my brother, the strife comes from the fact that the two sides are too similar. Not only that, but they have a mutual point of reference that they have historically tried to differentiate themselves from (in America and France's case, this is the UK. In my family's case, it's me). Remove this point of reference (as I've removed myself from the "nukular" family by moving across the world for a year), and you remove all conflict. So the solution to transatlantic agreement? Nuke the poms.